One of my favorite Christmas songs is "Somewhere in my Memory" from the Home Alone movie (which is also my favorite Christmas movie). In addition to reminding me of all the times my family has gathered together to watch the movie, the song reminds me of an important truth that I struggle with every year.
Personality wise, being around a lot of people and chaos makes me feel overwhelmed and stressed. It's like my brain disconnects from my body and I'm floating above the scene, passively watching instead of being in the moment. Because of this, as much as I love the Christmas season, Christmas day has always been overwhelming for me. Dozens of family members all talking at the same time, young kids running around, no order or organization whatsoever. It always made me want to run away and hide in my room under my covers.
However, by disconnecting, I miss the special moments with my family and friends. So many memories have been lost because I was too busy wishing I was by myself.
God's slowly been teaching me to reconnect in the moment, partly by using the song Somewhere in my Memory (and yes I know it's secular, God can still use it). Instead of trying to mentally process and organize all the joyful chaos around me, I focus on the individual people and things. I turn those into memories.
Like the song says:
Candles in the window
Shadows paining the ceiling.
Gazing at the fire glow.
Feeling that gingerbread feeling.
Precious moments. Special people. Happy faces.
I can see:
Somewhere in my memory,
Christmas joys all around me.
Living in my memory.
All of the music, all of the magic, all of the family,
Home here with me.
This Christmas and every seemingly chaotic situation, I want to turn the individual moments into memories that I'll hold with me forever.