As a storyteller, it can be very easy to rely on telling the story through quick and simple statements, she was mad, it was red, he felt guilty. These statements are great for getting straight to the point. However, they're not great at immersing a reader in the world of your story. For a reader, telling is surface level reading words on a page. But when you show the story, that is when the reader enters your world and becomes lost in your pages.
This concept of showing instead of telling applies to the emotions and inner character traits, the theme you want to convey, and any background information or info dump you need to share.
So how do you “show not tell”?
There are three main ways to show something instead of telling, dialogue, body language, and actions. There are also two main ways to enhance the showing, adding small details and holding back information.
Dialogue
Dialogue is your friend; it drives the story and reveals the character's motivations without telling it. Instead of saying “she was mad”, you can reveal her anger in how she speaks to others. When you catch yourself telling instead of showing, consider having the character talk to someone and sharing that same information with the reader through their dialogue. Readers are often smarter than we give them credit for, the reader will pick up on the emotion in the character’s voice without us having to say what they were feeling.
Dialogue is also one of the best ways to share important information with the reader. Instead of writing a lengthy paragraph or two with important background information about the story, setting, or character, share that same information through a conversation. However, the conversation must be natural. Don’t have the characters talk about something just for the reader’s sake. For example, if you want the reader to know how long a couple has been married, don’t just have them say to each other “we’ve been married for 15 years”.
Body language
Body language is an often-forgotten tool of a novelist. In real life, body language is equally as, if not more important than, verbal dialogue. The same is true on the page. Since our understanding of body language is often subconscious, it can be difficult to put into words what a character is doing with their body language. However, with practice you will be able to create characters who feel incredibly lifelike.
To do this, take whatever inner personality trait or emotion you want to tell the reader about, and express it through the character’s body language.
For some examples:
Anger: arms crossed, clinched fists
Shame: slumped shoulders, staring at the ground
Excitement: bouncing on toes, eyes wide
Fear: trembling, hunched over
Indecision: biting lip, looking around
Confidence: standing straight, looking straight in the eyes
Nervous: fidgeting, breathing fast
Actions
Our inner thoughts and emotions shape our actions. Instead of saying that a character is feeling a certain way, having the character act because of that emotion will push the story forward while still giving the reader vital information. Everything must work together for a story to be believable; this means that the character’s inner conflict must correlate with their outward actions. One without the other will feel forced and awkward.
This could look like an angry character picking a fight with someone or acting impulsively. Or a sad character distancing themselves from others or staying quiet.
Adding details
What is more believable? A sparse story that relies on “this happened, then this, then this”, or a story that provides concrete details that couldn’t be made up. The trick to being a great storyteller is to create those specific details that are so specific, that it seems real.
When you notice that you’re telling instead of showing, add those small details can keep a reader engaged. Sensory details, touch, smell, taste, sight, sound, will paint a picture for the reader.
For example, instead of telling the reader there was a table, share details about the color and smell of the table. Instead of telling the reader that the characters ate dinner, share details about the taste and smell of the food and the sound of the silverware hitting the plate.
However, this must be done in moderation. Giving the reader details about a character’s physical characteristics is important, but spewing a long paragraph with every single little detail is boring. Instead, disperse that same information between the action and dialogue.
Holding back information
Storytelling is a tricky balance between what to share and what to withhold. Knowing the perfect time to give any information, from the character’s eye color to the bombshell twist, can be difficult. Too much information all at once will bore the reader. Not enough information and the reader will be confused. So here are some things to keep in mind.
First, as I stated in the prior section, disperse information throughout. Try to avoid giving the reader an info dump all at once.
Second, don’t share those key pieces of information with the reader until it’s necessary. If you want the reader to be in suspense about who the real killer is, don’t reveal the truth until the last moment. If the main couple is in a huge fight, don’t let the reader know the deeper reason the characters are fighting right away.
Withholding information will keep the reader in suspense. Then when you do tell them what’s going on, it won’t feel like you’re telling instead of showing.
How to know if you’re telling
The four words that indicate you’re telling instead of showing:
Was
He was mad, it was close
Felt
She felt sad, he felt nervous
Thought
He thought she was nice, she thought about her mom
Knew
She knew he was angry, he knew the truth
When to tell and not show
After all this about showing instead of telling, it’s important to remember that there is a place for telling. Sometimes it’s better to get through a piece of information quickly through telling.
Specifically, this is true when the information is unimportant and unconnected to the conflict or plot. Characters must eat, but if nothing important happens while they eat, it’s okay to say, “then they ate” and not provide any specific details. Characters must sleep, but if nothing important happens while they go to bed, it’s okay to say they slept and then cut straight to the next important moment.
Thanks, Caleb. Very helpful information. Dialogue is my wheelhouse, but I need to work on the other areas.